Parents often worry about how to talk to their child about their cancer and treatment.
Children’s understanding varies by age, and it can be challenging to know what to say.
On this page, we have advice about how to tell your child about their diagnosis, as well as some tips on how to help your child to cope.
“At the beginning of our journey, I wish we had known, that our child is stronger than we could have ever imagined.
That we would get through the treatment and there would be very hard days, but also days of joy and laughter.”
– Diane, parent of (pictured) a young person with Ewing sarcoma
Telling your child about their diagnosis
If you aren’t sure how to start, Young Lives vs Cancer have some great storybooks designed for children with cancer. These can help explain things in a simple, clear way that makes the situation feel more normal.
They’ve also shared the following tips:
- Keep it simple and do it gradually – you may need to repeat all or part of what you say several times
- Be as honest as you can
- A good starting point can be to ask your child what they think is happening
- Ask if there is anything they are worried about
- Ask if there is anything they have not been able to ask but would like to
- Don’t feel you have to have all the answers
- It’s fine if they don’t want to talk. Just reassure them that you are happy to talk about it and answer any questions when they are ready
- Remember to revisit the conversations as your child grows. They may forget some things they were told when they were younger.
Helping your child to cope
Dealing with a cancer diagnosis can cause anxiety in children and young adults. It’s important to talk to your child about their feelings and fears. Reassure them that it’s normal to feel anxious and that you are there to support them. Professional counselling can help them to find strategies to manage anxiety and cope with their diagnosis.
Encourage relaxation techniques, such as deep breathing, or engaging in hobbies they enjoy. Keeping a routine, when possible, can also provide a sense of normalcy and security. By addressing anxiety proactively, you can help your child feel more in control and less overwhelmed by their situation.
Here are some ways you can support your child:
- Keep a routine (where possible): Keeping a routine, where you can, can help to provide a sense of normality and security for your child.
- Stay positive: Focus on the goal of completing treatment and returning to a normal life. This positive outlook can help your child remain hopeful.
- Involve others: Include close family and friends in your child’s care. Sometimes, having someone else to lean on can be beneficial for your child.
- Educate your child: Give your child age-appropriate information about their illness and treatment. This can reduce their fears and help them feel more in control, especially for older children.
- Connect with organisations: Reach out to children’s cancer organisations for additional support and resources.
