Finding space to think: Rob’s story

For Rob Bell-Johnson, running is much more than a fitness routine. It is a completely necessary space for reflection. The 39-year-old from Whaley Bridge in Derbyshire is currently training to become a personal trainer, a massive career shift after a long and complicated journey with his physical and mental health.

Rebuilding his body has been a gradual process. Rob was born with a club foot, which required early surgery to adjust the tendons in his lower left leg and left that side permanently weaker. Later in life, he faced severe back complications, culminating in major spinal surgery in 2013 for cauda equina syndrome. The operation left him using walking sticks for two years, making his transition into running even more extraordinary.

“Me and running is like eating chocolate with gravy,” Rob says. “It can be done but it is not great. My right side hurts more after I run because I am overcompensating for the left.”

Yet, the physical discomfort is entirely eclipsed by the mental clarity that movement brings. For Rob, every mile covered is a chance to connect with a past that took him nearly two decades to fully confront.

In 2004, just a day after his 18th birthday, Rob’s world was upended when his mother, Liz, shared the devastating news that she had been diagnosed with sarcoma, a rare form of cancer. She died just over a year later, in November 2005, aged 53.

Liz was a wonderfully outgoing person who was full of joy. Rob still holds onto memories of dancing around the kitchen with her to Dire Straits when their songs came on the radio. She worked in the family picture framing business and was always in the audience watching Rob play bass in his teenage bands.

Losing her at such a pivotal age left a profound mark on Rob, and for many years, he buried the trauma.

“As a teenager, it really rocked my world,” Rob admits. “I did not deal with it well. I bottled it up. I thought I was all right, but I buried it with drink.”

The hidden grief contributed to long, recurring cycles of depression that impacted his life for nearly twenty years. It was only a few years ago, when he chose to stop drinking and laced up his running shoes, that he found a healthy way to process the loss. This year, he fulfilled a life dream by running the TCS London Marathon for Sarcoma UK, transforming his personal reflection into vital support for others.

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